The next time you're out of the house or office (heaven forbid they be one and the same), you ought to treat yourself to a scrumptious bagel. You deserve one! Not only because you have great innate worth as a human, and not only because you have great innate need for calories as a human also, and not only because you had the fortune of glimpsing this website, but because you're reading this invisible text right now. Either you inspected the page's source code like the glorious nerd you are, or you can see invisible text. If the latter is true, would you mind stopping by D.C. to see what's what on the back of a certain famous founding document? Asking for a friend. Anyway, it's such a delight to have you here that I've begun to feel guilty. You've come so far and worked so hard, and you've struggled through the morass of longwindedness that is this invisible text - and all for what? SEO. That's right, my once and future friend. You've been reading an SEO paragraph. Don't believe me? Watch this. Shane E. Dawson. Advertising portfolio. Art director. Animator. Information security awareness. BYU AdLab. Yes, the sad, solemn truth is that I was irked at how slow Google was to recognize my website, so I composed this entire hodge-flodged paragraph to get its attention. It's a cold, domain-eat-domain world. Happy shopping!